"The Help"

It’s been awhile since I have posted…I have no excuse other than life happens!  I am really excited to say that I am participating this weekend in the Green Valley “Totally Local” farmers market.  I have a collection of purses, bags, aprons, pincushions, etc and I am ready to start selling my wares!  Thank you Jeri  Sue for turning me onto this venue and encouraging me to give it a try.  We all need a little encouragement at times and with that said…hehe…we need to pick a date and sit down and write your pattern for your table runner!  You are talented and your talent needs to be recognized and credited, so mark my words, it might take a little time to convince you but we are going to do this.  My friend, you are also going to teach a class!!  Woo hoo…if I can do it so can you!!! 

I am also going to participate in the Wine and Chocolate Festival at the Suisun Waterfront on Saturday, October 1^st!  So feel free to come on out and visit!

I read on Little Miss Momma’s blog that you need to be real and honest so that your readers can connect with you…that’s hard to do. I often times want to use my blog as a journal, but feel so vulnerable and feel I may be criticized for my thoughts and feelings, but I have chosen to work on that.  I know I don’t have any followers (not yet anyway) but I hope to in the future.  I also know that I need to be more committed to my writing, so I thought I would share a little something.

I tell Emma on a daily basis that she is a strong, independent and beautiful little girl!  Seriously, I tell her daily and even when she is staying at her father’s house, I talk to her in spirit and I tell her that to stay strong.  I send her “angel kisses” and she knows it.  Recently I saw the movie The Help.  I loved the scene where Aibileen was telling the little girl “You are kind, you are smart, you are important”.  I have since added that to Emma’s little saying and now…she says it back to me.  Just the other day, Emma and I were driving to nana’s house before I went to work and I heard Emma talking to herself…”I am kind, I am portant, I am pendant”  Those simple little words were monumental and music to my ears!!  Even when you think your child is not listening to you or they don’t get it…this is proof they do listen!  When we lay down at night for bedtime we say those words, both of us and now she will say to me, “again mommy, again”. 

I developed this saying a few years back when my wedding was called off just 2 weeks before the big day.  Everything was set, in fact just the day before we picked up our wedding bands in San Francisco, and the day before that we finalized our wedding ceremony with the priest, we were ready!  Not really I guess because that Friday night the wedding was canceled…he didn’t love me!  I had two choices that night after I called the wedding party to let them know it was canceled.  I sit there and cry and be an angry bitter woman, or I pick myself up and move on!  I chose to pick myself up, there were tears along the way and not a lot of good feelings about myself, but if I couldn’t love myself who else would.  So I had post it notes in places around the house as a reminder that said “You are a strong, beautiful, independent woman!”  In time I started to believe it, most days it is just 2 out of 3, but there are those rare and special days when we are 3 for 3. 

I want Emma to grow up with a strong sense of who she is and be proud to be Emma!  There are some not so nice people in the world, whether it be strangers, kids at school when she starts to go to school, and unfortunately, there may even be members of her very own family that may try to put negative thoughts in her head, but if I start now with the positive, maybe it will help her develop a thicker skin and not let those negative thoughts and words into her heart so easily.  My job as a mom is to teach, love, nurture and protect her on a daily basis…it is never too early to start.  If I help instill a strong self esteem in her now at an early age, she is 5 steps ahead of the game and maybe when the negative words come at her, she can deflect instead of taking them in!

Be strong my sweet girl!
Xoxo, Emma's mom

Tattered and worn:

That’s how I feel some days, tattered and worn…mostly from emotional struggles that sometimes come with the day. But this time, it wasn’t me that was feeling this way, instead it was a quilt. A quilt in need of some serious TLC!!! It has been a challenge, but I am one border away from returning these precious memories to its rightful owner. This quilt has been shown some serious love and has been used until the fabric is wearing thin, which is great, I can only hope that quilts I have given to people get as much use out of them as this quilt has. When I picked it up, the whole quilt was together minus the borders, which the owner patiently sat and picked out all the stitches for me, so I would just be able to add the new pieces on to give it new life. I was extremely intimidated by the quilt, funny….it is just fabric, but I know it was very important to the family that I was fixing it for. I sat and looked at it for a couple days(only because I was finishing a couple other projects I needed to complete) and finally I dove in. Hmm, I am a perfectionist most times and therefore, this is a little difficult for me. My stitches are not matching up with the old stitches and it drove me crazy…I took it to work Saturday and it was put to me this way when I was feeling very insecure about my job. Dawn said, “Princess you are saving a life!” She equated it to open heart surgery, the scars may not look pretty but you are still alive. Great analogy for me, it put things in perspective and allowed me to let go just a little bit and just repair the quilt! So tonight….the last border and the binding will go on!!

 

Until next time...xoxo, Emma's mom

Do you ever wonder when you meet someone what makes your personalities either click or clash?  A chance meeting, what makes you stop and talk to someone?  Is it their smile, the look in their eyes, the cute shoes they are wearing…

I met Diana completely by chance several months ago.  Dawn passed Diana’s name onto me because she was looking for someone to make two quilts, one for each of her boys out of their old sports t-shirts and jerseys.  I have to admit I kind of snickered to myself, two t-shirt quilts, really…so I asked Dawn again just to be sure and she was confident this is what Diana wanted.  So I called Diana and we agreed to meet the next morning.  I am so happy I made that phone call, I met such an amazing and caring woman who wanted to do something special for her boys…I suppose I should say grown young men.  The boy’s father passed away unexpectedly (they were no longer married—which I think her doing this for the boys and the sentiment behind it makes me hold Diana in such high regard, I truly hope to be the kind of person she is in my future-I am working on that by the way…daily).  Diana had been holding onto the shirts from their childhood days, and now she knew just what to do with them…she wanted a quilt.  That’s where I came in…

We spent some time together one Saturday morning going through the shirts, which ones to use, the whole shirt or just pieces, what color to bring out to make the actual quilt, because I didn’t want to just sew a bunch of squares together, it needed a story, each shirt needed to be separated from the next…I chuckled to myself, because they both had pink shirts…bright pink shirts (my favorite color) and she wanted both front & back used from that specific shirt (so guys when you wonder why the pink shirt, while I was delighted as it put a little of my personality into the quilt, it was your mom that wanted it not once but twice!!) and to top it all off most of them were from Tamarack Dental and my M-F is a dental office…it was meant for me to make these quilts! 

The prep work of the t-shirts takes the longest (& it’s a little scary cutting up something that isn’t yours and you can’t run to the fabric store if you screw it up).  I got the first few blocks together and emailed a picture to Diana so she didn’t think I forgot about her, and then I was on a roll.  The first quilt was completed so we needed to choose a backing, so we met at the quilt store again…do you know what touched me the most (well besides the warm and caring nature of this woman that I had just met- we hugged on our first visit-love that!).  She went around the quilt and touched each and every block and it almost looked as if she relived a small fleeting moment of their childhood and happy times as she touched each one.  Tears were rolling down my face the same time they were welling up in hers (yes, I am wiping them away as I write this as well, I just feel truly impacted and inspired by this woman after just a few brief meetings). She seemed very pleased with my work and so the second quilt was started and made just the same as the first with a slightly different border fabric so they wouldn’t be exact.  When she saw the 2^nd completed quilt, she touched each and every block again the same feeling as the first!

After a little more time passed than I promised, I am happy to say that I am meeting with Diana to give her both completed quilts this Saturday, I am so excited.    

So Diana, thank you from the bottom of my heart for adding to my journey of becoming a better person, you are one of the most selfless and caring mothers a child could have, your boys are lucky to have a mom like you (but I am certain I don’t need to tell them that).  I hope our journey doesn’t end here, besides maybe when the grandkids come I can have the honor of making their first quilt!  Enjoy the quilts and can’t wait to hear the boy’s reaction to their gift!

Xoxo, Emma’s mom

A Special Gift....

I finally added a profile photo to my facebook page after quite a bit of poking and prodding from all my lovelies out there, I know, I know...a photographer with no photo (but that isn't profession #1 right now, so thats my excuse!).  So along with my photo of my sweet little Emma and I wearing our matching birdie shirts from her 2nd birthday party (more to come later, but gotta go through the photos first)...so I wrote Miracles do happen and I believe in them.

Funny, my first thought for the miracle was I actually put a photo up cause I have received some grief about my little gray box..., but I have also been working on myself as an individual, to be a better person, to let stupid things not affect me and only worry about the big things or those that I can control..and I have a little help with that and thank you because those that have helped know just who you are!...but I think the biggest miracle came later that evening when my phone rang.  I didn't answer because I thought it was a mistake, after all, it had been almost 4 years...so I waited...no message was left on the machine, so I debated in my head what to do, a whole conversation played in my mind, some positive, some negative...okay, mostly negative but I am supposed to be working on that, duh!  So I sent a text asking if it was a mistake to dial my number and imagine my shock, and honestly...UTTER DISBELIEF to hear the call was intentional.  It was a phone call mixed with so many emotions and feelings I didn't know where to begin, so I was a little speechless...end result of the call, good emotions and a positive outcome!  So that day, I posted a simple statement and it became huge...and in a funny little way, it was a miracle.

A couple days later, Emma and I were the recipients of this little gift.  This little white box was filled with so much meaning....and of course, a little yummy goodness!  With this box comes the rekindling of what I hope to be a beautiful lifelong friendship, each of us in a very different place in our lives, both much better and more positive. 

So with that I say thank you from the bottom of my heart (and my tummy) for making that first step that was so huge....xoxo, Emma's mom

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!  I would like to say a very special Mother's Day to my mom, who has been an amazing rock in my life for the past 37 almost 38 years, especially the last two years since I have become a mom.  She has shown me such love, compassion, strength, courage and a belief in myself I didn't know was there!  I know this time of year is hard on my mom, especially since she has lost her mom...my Grandma Angel!  Yesterday my parents, Emma and I spent a great day at the zoo and on our way home I decided even though mom said it was ok...I decided we were going to stop and take some flowers to Grandma Angel.  Thats just what we did...here's a picture of us throwing flowers out to my grandma...wish this could have been a 4 generation photo, but unfortunately Emma was not able to meet her Great-Grandmother's, so she will know them both in spirit.  My mom is going to hate that I put a picture of her here, but mom, I love you and please know that I did it to tell the story.  The last picture we have here is the 3 of us when Emma was about a month old introducing her to Grandma Angel.  Emma has been such a huge blessing in my life, she has given me such great joy and a love I never thought possible.  She makes me laugh, there were times she made me cry too...but she has been the greatest gift in my life.  She makes me want to be a better person, to teach her all the things my mom has taught me, most importantly to grow and be a strong, independent beautiful woman.  I want to teach her to never, never, never give up even when things might seem tough for her, keep going the reward will be amazing and she will be so proud of her accomplishment.  I will continue to teach her right from wrong, and how to treat others in her life the same way she would like to be treated.  These are things you can't learn in a book, these are things that are taught from the heart!  So Emma, thank you for teaching mommy some of these things as well...and mom, thank you for loving me...loving us!  You are an amazing woman and I am proud to have you as my mom!
Xoxo, Emma's mom

Yay!  Yippee!  Yahoo!  My mom and I worked our tails off on Saturday in the garage to organize my 5, yes I did say 5 cabinets of fabric…we started at 7 am, took a little break for lunch and to pick up some supplies for the t-shirt quilt and finished at 8:45 that evening, the last hour with my little Emma under foot.  I had to give her some of her own fabric, so that she would stay out the completed cabinets…she likes to help (which consists of pulling it out, unfolding, throwing on the floor then jamming it back into the cupboard and goes uh oh when it doesn’t fit).  But the goal was to get all my “quilt” store fabric together and color coded and keep purchased projects together instead of little bits here and there and we accomplished that goal!  I admit, there are still two cabinets full or “other” fabric that needs to be tended to, but taking Emma for a walk sounded much more fun and she appreciated it as well.  It looks great and now if I am looking for a piece of fabric at 3 am I know exactly where to go and don’t have to open 5 sets of doors to find it and come up empty handed.  It was almost like Christmas, finding pieces that I haven’t seen in forever…loved it!  Inspired lots of new projects in my head but I need to finish the ones that are already started…at least I know the fabric and the ideas are there when I am ready!  Here are a few before, during and tadaaaa….the finished product!  Thanks mom for all your help, I couldn’t have completed it that quickly without you.  I know you slept well that night!

Xoxo, Emma's mom

Ugh…I have been so negligent with my blog, I set a goal and I failed…miserably!!!  So I will try again with May just beginning.  I don’t feel like I have accomplished much, but I know I have been diligently working.  Where does the time go?  I have completed a few unfinished projects, started a few more and currently working on a T-shirt quilt ( actually 2 T-shirt quilts one for each son).  So far so good, it is looking great.  I tried a new pattern with this one and I just have to figure out to make the center blocks tilt the opposite direction…wish me luck!

Easter was great!  Emma was so much fun this year, took her to an egg hunt with my neighbors and what a treat!  What manners my girl has, she was going after the same egg as a little boy, she got there first and turned to him and shared!!!!  What a proud mommy moment!  Even though, the whole way to the egg hunt, Papa was coaching her in the back seat…”don’t stop and show your eggs to Mommy, Nana or Papa just go, go, go!” She had that down pat, but again…she stopped to share an egg with the little guy.  Fun- filled day at the park, some quality time with Auntie Lynda and early to bed to wait for the Easter Bunny!  Easter Sunday was spent with family and friends, a good time had by all. We decorated Easter cookies in the morning when we got up, I think there was more icing on Emma than on her cookie…wish I had a video of that(but mommy only has two hands) so it is forever preserved in my mind and in my heart….and the quick cell phone picture I managed to get.  The first egg hunt she found 78 eggs(I made sure to count so no egg was left behind) with a little help of course, who knew the bunny left so many.  After dinner, mommy got a text message from the Easter Bunny saying he dropped more eggs off in the backyard because he saw that Uncle Clyde had arrived…so off we went again!  Needless to say, Emma slept good that night!  The next morning she woke up asking for more, more!  Gotta love it!!!

This is the big weekend that I tackle a job I am really excited about and dreading at the same time, but I know that it desperately needs to be done and I will feel oodles better when its completed…the fabric cabinets in the garage.  I am finally going to organize and get all my quilt shop fabric in some sort of color order, rolled onto cardboard and looking nice and neat for once!  There is fabric hiding in there that I know will make it like Christmas morning and make me say…remember when????  This way, I can keep making bags, quilts, all my fun little things without having to purchase more fabric…because as we all know funds are a little scarce these days!  I can’t wait!!!  Will let you know on Monday how it goes.

Xoxo, Emma's mom